Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Storms

So at church, the pastor talked about storms. How we as humans focus so much on the storms and even hold onto the storms instead of moving on or dealing with them properly. Sometimes the storm while tumultuous can be reassuring since in this changing world they are something we can latch onto and are constant. These storms can be anything from the worst moment of your life to just small insignificant little moments that bring pain. The movie Swingers has a perfect conversation that explains it:
Rob: Sometimes it still hurts. You know how it is, man. It's like, you wake up every day and it hurts a little bit less, and then you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all. And the funny thing is, is that, this is kinda wierd, but it's like, it's like you almost miss that pain.
Mike: You miss the pain?
Rob: Yeah, for the same reason that you missed her... because you lived with it for so long.

Generally, I try to let the small things go...or slide. For most things, I couldn't care less about because in the scheme of things they don't matter. Fight Club talks about this and it's one of the reasons that it's my favorite movie. However, while I let most of the small stuff go, big events can be a problem. I mull it over in my brain, I try to analyze, and I replay through all my actions again and again. The problem is when I am dealing with the big stuff, it's harder for me to pass off the small events that I usually don't care about. Like today when the yogurt idiot had my car towed because he thought it wasn't an employee's car and cost me $200 to get my car out(which the landlord is going to pay for). While I would say this is more of a medium to large problem, I almost went nova. Luckily, some fellow employees calmed me down, but it was like this was going to be the outlet to let out all the pent up frustrations and emotions.

I bring up storms because even right now, I am still fuming about the car and I need to just let it go. Life is too short and too enjoyable to let that idiot ruin my day. I just have to let it go. Things I wish for I have to let go. I can't hold onto these storms anymore. Life has too much to offer.

I have to let go.

I have to let go.

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